It was a sad end too. I thought we would be friend's for life. Sadly, some things cannot be forgiven and the things my friend has done over the past few weeks, especially the past few days cannot be forgiven. This does not mean that I am not gutted though. I have to say goodbye to our friendship, but I still feel the loss of my friend in my life. Tonight, as I sit here typing this entry, life sucks. Big time!
It's cold and dark outside - well past midnight and I should be asleep. Somehow I don't think sleep will come easily to me tonight. My soul hurts. It's almost a physical pain. Being let down lowers one's self esteem temporarily and I am feeling that too tonight. I miss her and it annoys me that I miss her. Why do I miss someone who has hurt me? This puzzles me a great deal. I wish I was the sort of person who could just switch off their feelings as and when it suited me. But I cannot.
There are so many regrets I feel about the last few months. Had I done things differently, would things be different now? Probably. I'll never know though will I. It is not wise to go backwards.It never works.Things are said and done in heated arguments and choose how you try, you can never forget them. If we made up, they would always be there in the back of my mind. I cannot forgive her. That is the long and short of it. Why should I forgive her anyway? What she did was mean and down right nasty. I didn't realize that she could be so nasty! But trust me, she can and she has been and she hurt me a great deal. No, there is no going back from that. She hasn't even said sorry and has made it clear that she feels justified in behaving the way that she did. I feel sorry for her. She lost the best friend she ever had and I know she regrets it, but say sorry? Oh no, not her.
